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Homophobia Kills
Just recently, record numbers of gay kids are committing suicide. Ordinary, decent kids, whose only difference to most of the people around them is their sexual preference. Most of them didn’t even think about sex five or six years ago, and now they’re dying for it! Homosexuality is not something they chose, it’s just the way they are. Not that it even matters. The majority of my friends are heterosexual, but how often does that come up in a conversation or in any other situation? Once in a while, they mention their wife or kids, or the single ones occasionally talk about girls. Does it make me like them more because they have wives, or like girls? Of course not, so why should gay people be liked less because of something equally incidental to their relationships with the rest of the world? I don't care what you think about homosexuality, being Lesbian, bisexual, or transgendered - no one deserves to be miserable because of it. No one deserves to be bullied or hurt. And they definitely don't deserve to die. I am thoroughly ashamed to admit that I have expressed minor anti-gay prejudice. I don’t dislike gay people at all, but just to fit in or be “cool” I’ve said stuff that would be hurtful if I said it to a gay person’s face. It’s such a small step from an “Oooh ducky” joke to something more serious. I know you might think that some jokes are only in good fun. Jimmy Carr once said (and I’m paraphrasing to keep it clean), “Well if that’s what they [gay people] do for fun, what’s an odd joke going to hurt them.” But he’s wrong. Very, very wrong.
I come from a mixed race background, and as one of only two non Anglos-saxons in my school, I took a lot of racist abuse, and was consequently a very lonely child. Even now, although I’ve developed a thicker skin, as soon as I hear the slightest racist abuse or jokes, it takes me right back to all the times I felt powerless and victimised and lonely and different as a child through no choice of my own. And even now, I still have to smile and be a good sport about it. And almost as bad, were friends and family members who said, “Yeah but it's okay. You’re not really black.” Like they’re saying they can like me because I can get away with not being too foreign. Racial and sexual jibes are unlike most other jokes, because they undermine the daily self-image of the person that they are aimed at. A normal boy or girl, can be made to feel so bad, just because of the words that people keep saying about “their sort of people”. Imagine how that would feel, to be treated like a deviant for something that is perfectly natural and beyond your control? Imagine how you would feel if the world hated people called “David” (or whatever your name is). Just because. Imagine if you saw hateful posts about you on Facebook, or slurs daubed on your locker, or people whispered about you when you passed. Extreme? Not at all - it happens every day. Yeah, some religious fools might justify it by saying it’s against God. Well I don’t believe in God, but if he does exist, surely he’s meant to be about love and compassion? Didn’t Jesus befriend Mary Magdalene, a prostitute, and considered one of the lowest of the low, so don’t tell quote old testament, bronze age dogma to me that the Bible is against homosexuality, because the New Testament teaches love, love, love and that’s what we should be passing on to our kids. Other people might argue that it’s against nature, but I would say that if a statistically large number of people display the same behaviour, then that is perfectly natural. It may not be the path to procreation, but the fact that so many people are gay (in spite of the fact that previous generations of gay people are not passing on their genes), proves that it’s a fundamental part of human biology in nature. I went to a national karate coaching course a couple of years ago, and the trainer said disparagingly (not knowing anything about the students he was training), “Oh there were so many gays at the top of the English Karate governing body that they call it the EGAYGB [instead of EKGB].” This from the man running the only City and Guilds in karate coaching course in Britain! At a national karate conference, the speaker of the conference said to hundreds of young martial artists, “Say what you like, but I just don’t like those guys [homosexuals].” Statistically, 10 percent of his 18-30 year old audience was gay, so how does he think he made them feel? Or didn’t it matter because he was a high grade? Or they wouldn’t feel too bad because he didn’t really insult them? Arkansas school board member Clint McCance recently said of homosexual students, "I enjoy the fact that they often give each other aids and die." I wonder how McCance's son would feel if he discovered he was gay? To watch George Takei's incredible video response to Mr McCance, click below. But I’ve come to realise that it’s not the gay bashings that are killing these decent kids (and adults), it’s the insidious daily drip drip drip of ridicule and negativity that makes them feel like shit. Makes them feel so worthless and hopeless that suicide seems like their only solution. And I’ve been part of that. And I feel terrible about it, because if I’ve made even one person feel bad just for who they are, then I’ve wronged them, and I should rightly feel ashamed, as we all should. So I vow from this day, I will endeavour never again to express a negative or jocular attitude towards homosexuality, lesbianism, or transgendered people. I have over 30 years of conditioning to overcome, and perhaps I may yet slip up, instinctively trying to ingratiate myself with my friends, but I promise to all of you that I’m going to keep trying, because I'm in the business of empowerment, not adding to the hurt that many kids are already feeling. As martial artists, we operate in probably one of the most macho activities on the planet, so it is especially beholden upon us as parents, as adults, as caring friends, and especially as senseis to kill homophobia in the dojo and in our lives once and for all - to say that real men respect all people people, regardless of their sexual persuasion. Because you just never know when it might your child or friend who is struggling with a secret that is literally driving them over the edge. And once they’re gone, you can’t just say, “I’m sorry, I didn’t really mean it.” Let’s start saving lives now. Respect for all. Be courageous and show your support by placing this logo on your Facebook profile or Web site.
If you are a gay youth, or simply want to find out more, here's a site I found that looks a little gentler than some: Being Gay is Ok www.bgiok.org.uk/ If you're comfortable with who you are, and you just want to talk to other people like you, try this: Queer Youth Network www.queeryouth.org.uk |
