Don't let your friends drag you down

Your friends are great, but so often in karate, they can be the reason for failure, rather than success.

Although few people rate socialising as one of their key training benefits, because GKR is such a friendly, warm club, most of us enjoy meeting our fellow students at the dojo. If you train with somebody, be it a friend, a relative, or simply a friendly face at the dojo, it can really enhance your training experience. It gives you someone to share your experiences with, someone to talk to after class, and even someone to train with at home.

The only problem is, so many people become dependent upon their dojo buddies. You know how it is when you turn up to the dojo and someone you like isn't there - the place doesn't feel the same. It's even wors e if you started with someone and they quit training altogether. I see so many students who enjoy karate, quit training because a friend quits.

For goodness sakes! Are they so delicate, or in love with their friends that that they can't bear to do anything without them! Sure, the experience won't be exactly the same, but you can't spend every second of your life joined at the hip to people you like. Is your success determined by the staying power of your friends? If it is, you're in for a lot of disappointment because believe me when I tell you that most people don't have much staying power - they look for the easiest , shortest way to do everything, and when things get tricky or challenging, most people quit. It's a sad fact, but it's true.

The worst thing of all, is your so-called friends will probably feel guilty about quitting, so they'll start to bad-mouth the karate or you. They'll say - "It wasn't all that good", or "It was boring", or "You're never going to be good at it." They try to make themselves feel better by trying to convince themselves and you, that they are quitting because there was something wrong with the karate, rather than admitting it was their weak willpower or lack of effort that was the problem. As the saying goes - "Misery loves company". It's true, but you don't have to accept misery's invitation to dinner!

So come on folks, I know that it's fun to train with people, but you need to train for your own reasons. Do those reasons change if your friend quits, or goes on holiday? Of course not! If anything, you should be pointing out the benefits to them, and trying to convince them to come back to training. After all, they're the ones that lost out on something great! And let's just hope that they never need self-defence and discover that they don't know what to do...